Saturday, December 5, 2009

Sunday Picks (N.F.L) Week 13

December is here, and its crunch-time down the stretch its do or die and every game counts untill the playoffs. We are going to give you are picks and locks for the week untill Superbowl Sunday! 





Oak @ Pitt = Al Davis a.k.a that monster-thing from "Tales From the Crypt" has run this franchise into the dirt with the assistance of of that glutton Jamarcus Russel who was caught last week with a chicken-fried steak hidden under his uniform....This is Pitts game all the way Mike Tomlinson the N.F.L version of Omar Epps has promised to "unleash hell"...James Harrison, yep "there go that man mama"!





N.O. @ Wash = Drew Brees is a machine and his offense can put up more points than a Korean nail-shop on a Friday. Jason Campbell is the check-down king and his coach is softer than sushi. My worst mistake of 2009 was drafting Santana Moss. Imma pick dem Saints.



T.B. @ Car = A Black coach and a Black quarterback, what a progressive league, too bad they only have one win on the whole season. I like this Josh Johnson kid he reminds me of a young John Elway while Jake Delhome has been looking like a flabby and sick Elvis Grbac. Look for Raheem Morris to ghet his second win on the road.


Hou @ Jac = Jack Del Rio is the most overrated coach in recent memory but thanks to Maurice Jones Drew a.k.a Mojo, a.k.a pocket hercules, they have some W's in the win column. My heart mourns for receiver Andre Johnson who has hands like stick-um and "hops" like a kangaroo on steroids but wont get to show his stuff in the playoffs due to the lackluster play of his teammates. I like Jacksonville at home.


  S.F. @ SEA = Frank Gore is a beast and Mike Singeltary is a madman with a clip-board, The Seattle Seahawks are the most boring team in the N.F.L this year and the only player I can name on their team is the kicker Olindo Mare because I like how his name sounds. Pick Michael Crabtree amd the 49er's.



Min @ Ari = This should be the geezer-bowl if Kurt Warner is given the game-time decision after getting his bell rung and catching a concussion. Seeing Bret Farve vs. Kurt Warner should be a doozie, if not watching Matt "The Bust" Leinert throw curveballs will have to suffice. Adrian Peterson might have a chance to prove to many of us why he's a better back than Chris Johnson or he can continue to fumble the football. Oh yeah Kurt Warner wears gloves so pick Minnesota. 


 
Den @ K.C.=
The inconsistent Broncos and Kyle Orton should be able to take their frustrations out on a Kansas City team that shocked the Steelers two weeks ago but followed that performence up in a lackluster effort against San Diego.....Take Denver for the win.



N.E. @ Miami =
After being humiliated by Drew Brees last week the Patriots and their villinous coach are licking their wounds and ready to slaughter Dolphins like an eskimo on meth with a machete. Patriots all day. 



S.D. @ Cle = Despite having the worst running game in the N.F.L the San Diego super-chargers are at the top of the A.F.C west and second in their conference behind the unbeaten Indianapolis Colts. Philip Rivers is playing at the top of his game and this one should be a cakewalk. Poor Joshua Cribbs. The Chargers will dehumanize this team in a blowout pray for them.




Bal @ GnB = Im a big Ed Reed fan and Im deathly afraid of Ray Lewis, so with that said Id normally pick Baltimore and Joe Flaco's arm w/ ray Rice's legs....but Im feeling brave so Im picking the frozen tundra and the ghastly green and yellow...Green Bay.



Dal @ NYG = I gotta go with the Cowboys even tho' this is the time of year when Tony Romo likes to hibernate. New York and Eli Manning has dropped 5 of their last 6 and Plaxico is somewhere on the cell-block saying "I told you so". Keep your eyes on Miles Austin and expect Dallas to win easy.
 
New York Jets @ Buffalo Bills =
Crummy game of the week take the Jets and take a nap.



Stl @ Chicago =
Can a team win with a coach named "Lovie"...I mean seriously, I can play my heart out for a guy named "Herm" but Im tanking games for a guy named "Lovie". Urlacher hates Cutler and Cutler loves throwing interceptions, but the only way St Louis could win this game is if Marvin Harrison hops out the stands with a Bulgarian pistol and shoots Orlando Pace in the kneecap.


 LOCK OF THE WEEK

Det @ Cinci = Detroit is a doomed franchise, Barry Sanders was only a dream. Expect Carson Palmer to shred their lowly secondary like Shawn Merriman having a fit of 'Roid Rage and drop-kicking one of his stripper girlfriends. Cinci is the lock of the week...Id put money on it!!

 


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